Je Vais Vomir
Posted by me on March 13, 2009
I’m going to Vom.com people.
My company was a key founder of a French non-profit organization that did really well for a few years. We operated it mostly from here in the US and had a few native Frenchies (that also spoke English, though not very well) on staff to handle translating and stuff like that. Well, the Association took a turn for the worst last year, I’ll blame the economy; but the French now think that we are a bunch of money hungry arrogant Americans looking for a way to exploit the French people and their hard earned money through our “scandalous” association. It’s a long story.
Anyways, the association was put on hold and the French people no longer work here. However, we’re trying to turn it around and get it back up and running. Without the Frenchies here anymore, there’s only one person left in the whole office who is familiar with French. C’est moi (it’s me).
I took 7 years of French so you would think I should be pretty fluent by now… FAUX (false). I can’t speak it for shit. I can, however, read and understand it pretty well. Which has been awesome b/c I’ve been translating emails for a while now and love doing it. I also translated a 10 paragraph article a French reporter/journalist wrote about non-profit organizations. But to translate every word into English, I obviously had help from some nifty online translation sites. Thank God for those.
Now my boss thinks I’m a French genius. (And I’m not gonna tell him otherwise)
We got word today that a French reporter is going to call here to speak with someone regarding the association. So, naturally, my boss told me that I would be the one taking the call.
FML.
Translating written French is one thing. Listening to a native Frenchie over the phone speak a million miles a second using French slang and probably bitching at me about tax receipts and things like that?!?!? THAT’S A WHOLE NOTHER STORY (and yes, I know “nother” isn’t really a word… I think).
So my heart is literally racing at a speed that should burn all the calories I’ve consumed in the last week. I’m not really complaining about that, but it is kind of uncomfortable. I’d be sweating but it’s freezing in here. I hate to typecast but… aren’t Frenchies kinda known for not being the nicest of all people? And kind of impatient? Am I wrong??
Ok… my boss just walked in a few minutes ago while I was writing this post. I. Am. An. Idiot. Je suis un idiot. He told me to stop freaking out and think about what time it is in France. (I had no idea). He said, “7 hour time difference… ahead of us…”
Je suis une petite fille stupide (I am a stupid little girl). It’s like 8:30 PM in France. I doubt their work hours are much different than ours. No one is going to call today. I can breathe. Until Monday that is.
Ok now I feel like I wrote all this for nothing. Oh well. C’est la vie.
