Project Grace: 17 of 365

1. CAPS GAME TONIGHT WITH BFF!!!!!

Grrrrrrrrr beware of the Great 8

2. The most crucial pair of jeans I’ve ever gotten from “Gemma’s Closet” finally fit me and I’m wearing them and I luff them.

I F'ing love these jeans

3. LEAVING FOR CAPS GAME IN 20 MINUTES! AAAAAHHH!!

4. Alexander Ovechkin is following me on Twitter.

5. I got an email on my Blackberry saying “Alexander Ovechkin is now following you on Twitter!” at the exact same time I was buying Alex Ovechkin Jerseys for BFF and me… WEIRD and AWESOME! The sales guy thought it was pretty cool… I showed him the email.

Shortest Update Ever

Where the heck do I start? I have so much to do right now that blogging may actually be a crime but it’s been way too long. I seriously can’t hold everything in anymore and I’m gonna start forgetting key things if I don’t get at least some of it down in writing. Some things I’m going to have to be a bit vague about for the sake of peoples privacy and for that I’m sorry.

Let’s start with the most (long-term) exciting thing going on in my life… It’s an awesome freelance job opportunity! When I say awesome I mean completely right up my ally. I am so pumped about this and have a meeting regarding said activities on Wednesday =). YAY for a big breathe of fresh work air!! I know that’s ridiculously nondescript but I don’t feel comfortable saying much more right now. So cross your fingers for me. I’ll obviously still keep the job I have now so this is just for fun, experience and resume building- which is always a good thing.

The most short-term exciting thing going on right now? The Washington Capitals!!! We are kicking New York Rangers ass!! The series is tied at 3-3 right now meaning there is one. game. left. Tuesday (tomorrow) is the end-all, be-all, everything-rides-on-this-all final game in the series and it’s being played here, in DC. Wanna know what I’m doing tomorrow night? Ohhh ya know just chillin AT THE CAPS GAME!!! I’m so excited I literally might die. I’ve never been to a Caps game before and now I get to see them in the playoffs in a super crucial game. My hearts beating double time.

I was watching the Caps game Sunday at a bar in Arlington and met a guy who works for the Caps (convenient eh?). He asked me if I wanted to go with him (free) and I was about to say, “HELLS YES” when BFF put her foot down, hard. She’s been a huge Caps fan for forever. Capitals hockey to her is like Redskins football to me… she would kill me if I went and she didn’t get to. I know this b/c she told me this. And I understand, b/c if it was the Redskins and she was going without me… I’d more than freak. So we worked out a deal where he gave us a free ticket and we split the cost of the other. He also gave me his 30% discount at the Caps merchandise store upstairs so I got jerseys for way less than anyone really ever should =). I’m glowing like I’m pregnant and planned it.

Shit ok, shit. I gtg I’m being beckoned. I’ll write more tonight I have a lot more to talk about.

Project Grace: 16 of 365

1. 45 minutes listening to amazing talk radio

2. 0.5 texting to tell me to listen to the radio NOW

3. 0.5 calling in to the station and hearing her on the air

4. Praying (for the first time in a while) that 0.5 doesn’t say anything stupid

5. Burning at least 500 calories in 3 minutes b/c my heart rate shot up so high

MIB: Missing In Blogland

Dear Blog,

I’ve been neglecting you, I know, and I’m sorry. I’ve just been so busy lately. Life, unfortunately, is no day at the beach (except for when I’m actually, ya know… at the beach). I miss you though; I really do. I think about you more often than you probably know. I hate to say it but, with the Capitals playing tonight and all, I probably wont be able to blog until tomorrow at the earliest; unless of course I get an intense urge to blog under the influence.

Please don’t be mad at me! I feel awful about it. I have all these stories and ideas that are just begging to be written about and honestly it’s been quite stressful for me; not being able to blog whenever I want. I know what you’re thinking… “Hockey!?! What the…!?! You’re putting hockey before ME!?! Guurrrlll you better get your priorities straight!! Since when are you a hockey fan anyways??!” Since Monday actually. I don’t expect you to understand. How could you? I’ve never written about hockey before. Hear me out. On Monday I watched the Capitals destroy the Rangers in their quest for the Stanley Cup. It was in-fucking-credible. It’s non-stop action. NON-FUCKING-STOP!!

You know how much I love football… well, this was like football on ice (although obviously totally different; that’s just what I equate it to). I’ve found my favorite football off-season sport. Before Monday I didn’t really care about any sport other than football; now I feel like I’ve found a home with hockey. If you really loved or cared about me at all you’d be happy for me. I honestly believe you’re gonna love hockey too once you learn a little more about it. Just listen, I swear you’ll be glad you did…

When a player gets a penalty they have to sit out on the bench for 2 minutes; leaving their team with only 4 players on the ice instead of the normal 5 (besides the goalie). This is called a power play for the opposing team: They have the obvious advantage for 2 minutes playing 5 on 4 hockey. There’s never even a real pause in the game! You know how in football the refs blow the whistle all the time and the game stops so the teams can regroup or make substitutions? I’m sure I’ve told you about that. Well, not in hockey! The whistle hardly ever blows! Players literally jump on and off the ice from the bench making pauses almost obsolete! And that’s not all; not even close. During a power play, the remaining players can still get penalties. When that happens, the penalized player gets sent to the penalty box making the game even more exciting! Then instead of 5 on 4 hockey it turns into 5 on 3 hockey or 4 on 4 depending on which team the penalized player is on.

Sometimes, after a few penalties, the power plays can get hard to keep track of! For example: Penalty called on a Rangers player= Capitals power play for 2 minutes… then 30 seconds later a penalty is called on a Caps player and he’s sent to the penalty box= 4 on 4 hockey for the remaining minute and 3o seconds of the first power play. Then the initially penalized Rangers player is freed and they jump back on the ice= 5 on 4 hockey and the Rangers have a power play for another 30 seconds (penalties are always 2 minutes long). Then the Caps player is free and jumps back on the ice= 5 on 5 hockey again. Multiple penalties can be called during power plays; so you can see how this could get hard to keep up with (esp after a few drinks).

And the fighting!!! Oh blog… most sports break up fights as soon as they begin and even fine the players involved sometimes. Not. In. Hockey. Fighting is almost encouraged on the ice!!! Seriously!! Players slam each other against the glass trying to get the puck. Confrontations are common; and fights break out causing complete chaos. Yes, the refs do break it up eventually, but not like in other sports. A fight can erupt and the refs will just stand there and watch it escalate! It’s wicked fucking awesome.

Wanna know what else is wicked awesome? The Capitals are actually really fucking good. And this is the playoffs. We have to win tonight to stay alive; and win we will. We killed the Rangers on Monday, 4-0… on their own ice! Tonight’s a big deal blog. I really hope you understand now. At least try to… for me. I’ll be back before you know it I promise. I can’t wait to tell you what’s been going on in my life the past few days. A lot can happen in a few days! I met a guy, had an incredible drunken heart to heart with bff, discovered the most adorably picturesque town ever not too far from where I live, succumbed (again) to my now-seriously-almost-out-of-control shopping addiction, got to work on time (Whoa… I know) and that’s only a fraction of everything that’s been going on.

I guess that in the time it took me to write this letter I could have written about what’s been going on… but it would have been a half-assed post. I’m just not focused enough (or unfocused enough) to write a blog worthy post right now. I did feel like I needed to explain myself and the reason behind my blogging absence. Please don’t call my mother; we aren’t in grade school anymore. Writing you this letter wasn’t easy for me and I’m hoping that tomorrow we can put all this behind us and blog-on like this short hiatus never even happened. I love you blog. If you had a forehead I’d kiss it right now and if you had hands I would squeeze one of them in a reassuring sort of way. Pretend I just did that. I’ll talk to you tomorrow…

xoxox

<3

Me

New Fav Word & Website: Snoburbia

So there’s this website that sells really incredible t-shirts. It’s called Snoburbia. Their slogan is Snoburbia, t-shirts for the overclass.

I came across it going through google reader this afternoon. ShirtSnob wrote a little ditty about it. I was curious to see the other t-shirts so I checked out the site.

GO CHECK OUT SNOBURBIA NOW! Or, of course, after you read the rest of this post.

As I’m looking through the t-shirt designs I start to get really really excited: A good number of the t-shirts are geared toward… LA? Nope. NY? Uh Uh. Your town? Not unless you live where I live; in the super fantastic Snoburbs of Washington, DC!

I do a little “my city/suburb is so fucking radical” dance in my chair. I click on the Snoburbs tee to pick my suburb and order a shirt. I open the tab with the suburbs choices… pause… re-check… pause… think Pooh think! Where is it??!? I refresh the page. My suburb is still a no-show. I’m mildly upset and very confused. I decide I’m gonna write them a letter (e-mail, same thing). So I do.

(I didn’t actually write the opening line in my email, but I think it’s a good opening line (it’s in black). The rest of the email (in blue) is exactly as I wrote it.) Oh and DMV= the District, Maryland & Virginia. We have cool codes here

To whom it may concern,

I just found your site and I love it!! I was looking at your “suburbia” or “snoburbia” T’s and don’t understand why you chose almost all Maryland suburbs. Everyone knows the VA side of DC is way better and Alexandria and Arlington are hardly where the snobs live. The point of this email: I am in desperate need of a “McLean” t-shirt. In Desperate Need.

I also think that you’d sell a ton of McLean t-shirts, since I’m obviously not the only person that lives here. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to tell you what to do or how to run your business. Not even close. I’m just throwing out suggestions that I think would be profitable. Do I have other suggestions? I’m so glad you asked! I do! 1) Great Falls. I was totally surprised that this suburb wasn’t already on the list. I mean, it’s like the snobbiest of the snobby. Seriously. Great Fallsians (made up word) think they are God’s gift to the DMV. 2) Langley. I’m aware that Langley isn’t exactly a suburb (no post office) but they do have a snobby ass high school (full of Great Falls “gifts”). They also have the CIA. I’d buy a Langley shirt as well as a McLean shirt. Technically (or non-technically since it’s not a real place) I live in both.

And what about tank tops? Like wife-beaters and spaghetti strap tanks? Are you gonna start selling any of those anytime soon? Because that would be great.

Okay, that’s all. Thanks for listening! I really really hope to see these snoburbs soon!!!! A+ on your website though; such a great idea. The OBX and SUV shirts are just incredible. I wish I could buy an OBX: Obnoxious bumper sticker and replace the normal OBX one I have now. Possibly in the future of snoburbia???? Again, just an idea.

Sincerely,

Me (obviously I wrote my real name)

To my surprise, they responded within the hour. Yeah. How’s that for awesome customer service? I even got a personalized, semi-lengthy email filled with wit and smiley’s and everything. I was impressed. Here’s what they wrote…

Hi (Me) -

While I disagree with your general premise : ), I think you are right that I need to offer more Va. snoburbs. I chose Arlington and Alexandria because they are more populous, but I have been getting some requests for McLean and Great Falls. So I’ll add them to the site – probably in the next week or two - and send you an email when they are added.

I will be adding hoodies, long-sleeve shirts and messenger bags in the future, but not in the next few months. Thanx for your input about tanks – I will certainly think about that. Also thanx for the OBX bumper sticker – I had considered it, but may rethink it.

I will also, begrudgingly, add a Virginia > Maryland version of my Md. > Va. tee… : )  I will also probably add a Michigan/Ohio and Louisiana/Texas series.

Also, as you love [italics!] my site, I hope you’ll send the link to a few friends, or tell your local newspaper or magazine about it or “become a fan” of snoburbia.com on Facebook! We’re brand new and really need the exposure. Bethesda Magazine is featuring us in its July/Aug issue, but I can’t seem to crack the Washington Post!

Thanx for your nice remarks. I’ll be in touch soon!!

Lydia

http://snoburbia.com – t-shirts for the overclass

It may be the best email exchange I’ve ever had. I guess I can overlook the fact that she’s obviously from Maryland. She is, after all, making the t-shirt I wanted and even one I didn’t ask for but will totally buy. VA is so much better than MD. I cant wait! I also adore the fact that she slightly poked fun of my abundant italics use. It’s true, I do love italics. And she said begrudgingly… I freagin love that word. What a great job she has; I’m jealous. I may have to look into working for them. You should go look into the t-shirts though. They also have a Blog you should check out. I’m checking it out right now. =)

God Is Just A Friend Request Away

God. The Almighty. The Alpha & The Omega. The Holy One. The Holy Spirit. The Holy Ghost. The One & Only. Some people live their lives in a never ending quest to find God. Some people are skeptical of his existence. Some people pray hoping for some sort of answer to their prayers. But almost everyone I know, even if they are agnostic or atheist, is curious. If they don’t believe in God it’s because they are the type of people who need hard evidence and have found none (or not enough) to support the theory of the Bible. (I say theory in italics b/c I totally believe, so it’s not a theory to me; it’s a fact.) Well, oh ye unbelieving ones, God is real. He’s as real as you and me (if you are, in fact, real people). Some say God isn’t present in the God-forsaken, technology reliant, promiscuous society we live in today… You. Would. Be. Wrong. How do I know? I’ll tell you.

I signed into Facebook today, read a few new messages and then went back to my homepage when, low and behold, under my “suggestions” box on the right side of my screen, this is what I see…

God
16 friends are fans
Become a Fan

I laugh at first, naturally. Then I’m a bit intrigued. I click on the page link. I am taken directly to God’s homepage. “God’s what??” God’s homepage; his very own Facebook page that looks basically like yours or mine would look but not as fancy. I think the reason it’s so basic is because, ya know, God’s a busy guy and probably doesn’t have time to add cool boxes and update his info all the time. Understandable.

Under God’s “Recent Activity” there is one lonely line that reads, “God Joined Facebook”. Sigh, I guess it is true: Everyone jumps on the Facebook bandwagon eventually. So far he’s pretty popular as far as Facebook goes; he has almost a million fans. In the grand scheme of things this doesn’t really seem like a lot when you consider how many people are on Facebook all over the world that believe in God, but I’m sure this number will grow as people discover that He’s on Facebook. I’m not gonna lie, I’m pretty curious to see how many fans He will ultimately get. All joking aside, I’m also curious what He thinks of all this. Is it a pro or a con? Hypothetical situation: I die tomorrow (knock on wood) and go to Heaven. As I near the pearly gates I see God in all his glory and contemplate how much the gold paved road would cost on earth. I get to the gates. God looks at me and asks me what I’ve done to spread his Word.

“Well…” I’ll say, “I became a fan of yours on Facebook yesterday and, not to brag but I have 1,076 Facebook friends, so I’d say that “Heather became a fan of God” showed up in all of their suggestion boxes. That counts as spreading your Word, right? And through six degrees of separation I’d guess that at least a few more thousand people saw that I was a fan of yours as well. Did you know that you already have 983′818 fans?!? I don’t know when exactly (or how for that matter) you joined Facebook but… you sure are a popular fellow. You go God!”

Would that gain me entry into Heaven? What if I don’t become a fan of God on Facebook? Would that get me a one-way ticket straight to Hell? Does God even really want to be on Facebook? It all seems a bit ridiculous to me. Almost sacrilegious. What do you think? Are you going to become a Facebook fan of God?

A New Beginning

This is either the stupidest thing I’ve ever done or the smartest. Can’t tell yet. I’ve decided that WordPress.com (though it has been very good to me and introduced me to blogging for which I will forever be thankful) is too restrictive and it’s come to a point where I feel like I am not under creative control of my blog. Control (and now creative control) is my #1 love and I have to have it. Therefor… even though html, css, ftp, dns, bla, bla, bla, and anything related to web design jargon is basically alien to me… I’ve decided to take control of my blog and start hosting my own site.

GASP! I know. But… you don’t know what you’re doing! I know. But, but… how are you going to host your own site if you aren’t fluent in web design? I have absolutely no idea. But I do know that I just spent $100 for a full year of it. So, if I ever had a good reason to learn… this would be it.

Honestly I am freaking out a little bit b/c I don’t want to lose all my previous posts and comments and fuck everything up royally (that would be worst case scenario), but I have a good feeling about this (and that’s not just the xanax talking). I’ve been wanting to learn and do this for a while now and I’m confidant that I will. So I just did it. I’m trying not to think of the cute clothes I could have bought with that $100 and instead think of how this is going to challenge me intellectually and creatively and how much I’ll gain from that (which wouldn’t have come from purchasing clothes). I am super excited.

Bed for now. Tomorrow my work begins. But don’t give up on my blog! (That’s another one of my fears) I’ll still be writing here until I’ve gotten the basics down and I’ll import everything to my new sight asap. Any helpful tips would be highly appreciated. The only local web design ‘friend’ I have is my brothers ex-girlfriend… so I can’t really go to her for help. Even if he said I could ask her I wouldn’t do it; after the way she fucked with my brother… I’d rather not talk to that self-righteous bitch again, esp to ask for her help. Nope, that bridge has long been burned. So I’m on my own.

Wish me luck or give me pointers. I think the new 20somethinginsight is going to be fucking fabulous. I can’t wait to get started!

PS- Tomorrow I’ve got some interesting things to talk about… Ta-Ta for now! =)

Project Grace: 15 of 365

1. The Cooley’s new reality webseries… coming soon =) Woohoo

2. BFF made me a bad ass new mix cd. Check out my new fav song…

3. Amazing new lip gloss. It’s mint-infused for fresh breath… which apparently I need.

Yum

4. Free dinner tonight out with the accountants (Aka Dad and Co). It’s time to celebrate the end of tax season, and I’m invited.

5. It’s payday! Gosh I love money.

Cool(ey) Hump Day News

So it seems I’m not the only one with Mr. Chris Cooley on the brain. Check it out… seriously, watch it. Watch all of it. And get excited. Best part? Either the picture over the mantle in the beginning (seriously who does that? It’s awesome. I’m def gonna have one when I get married) or the part where he talks about being white; priceless.

Drinking & Shopping Do NOT Mix

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you know that yesterday was a fabulous Monday for me. For those of you who don’t, let me explain.

Yesterday was the opening day game for the Washington Nationals baseball team. The game was at 3:05 pm. “Wow… that’s perfect for people with 9-5 jobs!” … uhh syke. Luckily, my job is not your typical 9-5 thanks to a little thing I like to call “flex hours”.

Our flex hours are pretty common. They allow you to change your hours from the normal 9-5 (actually it’s 9-6 but I’ll just use 9-5 for the purpose of the example) to other hours like 8-4, 7-3, 10-6, etc. I interpreted this to mean, “Dude… I can come in at noon and stay till 8 pm! Fucking crucial!” The latest the flex hours start is 10 am… needless to say I’ve completely taken advantage of the flex hours and bended them to meet my extended sleeping needs. But hey, I’m getting in my 8 hours! (Most of the time anyways)

I showed up to work at noon and took off for the game at 2 pm. It was the best Monday maybe ever. Juicy also took off a few hours of work and came with me since I had two tickets. The only reason I got these tickets is because my dad gets season tickets but wasn’t able to take off any work (it’s big time busy season right now); but I’m not an accountant (thank God) so I jumped (literally) on the chance to go to opening day.

[I'm adding this next part in b/c it's too good to leave out]

Normally we have a parking pass so we can drive and park near the stadium. For this game my dad gave up the parking pass to the other two people using our other tickets to go to the game. So we have no parking pass. My dad and brother tell us to take metro (subway… whatever you call it). I hate metro. With a passion. I passionately hate metro. Juicy, being my best friend and being awesome, also hates metro. On our way driving to the metro station (we didn’t know what else to do) we’re talking about how much metro sucks and how long its gonna take and how the hell are we gonna find parking in the middle of the day; just your basic bitching really.

Then we get there and not only could we not find parking… we couldn’t even find the damn parking lot. In our genius heads we had decided to go to a metro station closer to our destination so that we would only have to be on metro for a short period of time. But that means we were both completely unfamiliar with this metro station. We start to get very frustrated; time ticking away. I announce that I have something we could, ahem, smoke. Two pm on a Monday… and she’s all for it. She’s already had two beers at lunch. I love this girl. So we do.

Right after, Juicy looks at me and says, “Lets just drive there.” I think, Brilliant! Then I come to my senses and ask if she knows where it is. She says no. We sit and think for a second. Juicy blurts out, “Maybe the address is on the tickets!” I dive into my purse, grab the tickets and hand one to Juicy so we can both scan them looking for an address. No luck. Juicy then proclaims, “Oh I know how to get there, don’t worry just start driving.” Ummmmm hmmmm.

There are many problems with this. 1) She’s totally lying. She has no idea where to go. 2) Nationals Park, although gorgeous, is in Southeast DC… literally in the middle of Anacostia. Non-DCers might not know what that means. I’m going to compare it to Compton. Anacostia is the DC version of Compton. I would not recommend driving or hanging around Anacostia… especially if you’re a little white girl. 3) With no parking pass, we have no idea where we are going to park… in Anacostia… where someone will probably break into my beautiful GiGi or steal her.  4) My laptop is in my car. 5) I have a whole closet in my car. 6) I have a huge purse with my checkbook and some credit cards in it (I switch purses a lot) in my car. 7) Landrovers stick out in Anacostia. 9) White girls in Landrovers blasting rap music really stick out in Anacostia. 10) We don’t have any weapons… or mace or anything except for stilettos to beat a potential mugger with. We are helpless, blond, snotty, designer wearing, ticket holding girls. Oh yeah and we’re kinda blazed. (I had to skip the #8 b/c it made a smiley face with sunglasses on… see

I tell Juicy this. She says that we should just valet the car in front of the stadium. I jump in my seat and turn to face her, “THEY HAVE VALET!?!?” I think I scared her, “Oh hahah nooo I was saying it would be cool if they did.” I pout and say it’s a damn good idea.  Then Juicy has a “duh” moment and says, “Uh, why don’t we use your navigation and put in the metro stop at the park?” Such amazing intelligence. I put it in; it works. She says maybe the metro station there has a parking garage. Good thinking. I agree that driving is the best bet (I really hate metro) and believe that we’ll be able to find somwhere semi-safe to park. All the other worries are forgotten and we head to the ghetto.

We actually found a parking garage right next to the stadium to park in so that was lucky. It was $30 though and I only had $15. Juicy had $1… so helpful.  I tried to talk my way through that one but, it’s pretty obvious… the garage attendant just wants my money. He tells me to park, go to an ATM and bring him the $$ before we go to the game; or he cant promise what will happen to my car. Great. Just great. Now Juicy and I are walking around Anacostia looking for an ATM. Really safe.

While waiting to cross the road we “met” some interesting characters; drug dealers I think they’re called. Very typical looking, coulda been in a movie. They whistled at our asses and said, “daaaayyyuum you hot”. Ugh the grammar makes me shudder. I replied, “Yeah, we know.” Juicy completely ignored them which was probably a good move. Then they heckled us for tickets and invited us to party with them until finally the light changed and we raced across the street. The same thing happened when we had to cross the street to get back. Like they forgot that whole episode had already happened. Idiots.

On our way back to the garage I tell Juicy that if I was a black girl, the black (drug dealer) with the red backwards hat would have been totally my type. She stares at me in disgust. “I know!” I explain, “That’s why I thank God every day that I’m white. My taste in men is awful! If I had been born a black girl; I would have loved guys like that.” Juicy starts to see where I’m going with this, “Uhhh yeah it’s a really good thing you’re white. You do like your men a lil ghetto.” I ponder this for a moment, “Holy shit, if I was black I’d probably have at least 5 kids by now!” Juicy adds, “Yup… and all from different baby daddy’s.”

Us in unison, “Eww. Thank God I’m/Your white.”

Our conversations are incredible.

Finally we give the garage guy the money and turn the other corner and behold… Nationals Stadium. It’s gorgeous. Anacostia doesn’t deserve it. It’s sad really, Anacostia has so much potential: They have a big pretty river… it’s in DC…. now they have a stadium. That’s all I can think of right now. Other than those things it’s a total wasteland. No offense, but it’s just on the wrong side of the river. And I normally stay away. Except on game day of course.

Here’s a very small Anacostia example…

Before the stadium

After the stadium

Before the stadium

After the stadium

Waterfront... and gorgeous

Ok last picture

Anyways… it’s a very scary place with bars on windows or boarded up windows and if I had wanted crack I’m pretty sure I could have scored some in less than 5 seconds. When I first starting driving at 16 my dad told me, “If you’re ever on 395 and you see signs for Anacostia, you’re going the wrong way and you need to turn around… but don’t turn around in Anacostia, find somewhere else to turn around. Do not go into Anacostia.” Because of his words I basically just stay away from 395 altogether. Even to this day I’m pretty clueless when it comes to 395. I only know it goes to Anacostia, and I know I don’t wanna be there. One time in highschool bff and I were trying to find a club downtown and ended up in Anacostia around midnight on a Saturday. I’ve never been so scared in my life.

[Ok back to original writing]

The game was fab. We hardly watched any of it but I got some amaaazing people watching in. We drank a ridiculous amount of Miller Light. We tried to sweet talk our way into club seats. The “bouncer” guy told us to come back next game and he’d let us in (opening day was sold out). The Nat’s almost coulda possibly won after a two run homer in the 9th. But… of course… they lost. 9-8… Not a bad game.

After the game we went to a bar/restaurant at the mall to meet with Juicy’s new boy toy turned possible boyfriend. Two raspberry martini’s in I decide I have to have a fedora and I have to have it now. I stand and announce that I’m going to Urban Outfitters to buy a fedora. Boy toy looks at me like I may have lost it but Juicy’s used to me doing stuff like this. She gives me her credit card and tells me to buy her something awesome that she’ll love. I say Yay; and off I go.

I’m drunk at this point btw. The mall closes in 30 minutes and the last time I went into Urban to buy “one” thing… well, I didn’t leave with only one thing. This is why I think I probably have a shopping problem: When I walked into Urban Outfitters, I got high just by looking around at the clothes. Yeah.

The fedora falls to the back of my mind and I start picking things I love off of tables and racks barely looking at price tags. I get to the back of the store and see a fedora… for some reason a very faint bell begins ringing in my head. I pause to contemplate the ringing. Then came the “AhA!” moment and I pick up every fedora I see and take all my stuff to the register. I demand that the sales guy help me decide which fedora to get. I put on every fedora for this guy and we narrow it down to two: The same style, one’s black and one’s brown. He actually told me I was too blond for the black one but I liked it. Sales guy criticism only goes so far in my book.

They don’t have the brown one in my size and I mentally say “HA!” to the sales guy and decide to buy the black one. He rings up all my stuff… if I hadn’t been drunk I would have had a panic attack. But I was drunk, so I just whip out my credit card, flip my hair a bit and tell him to hold the brown fedora for me when they get it in my size b/c I will be coming back to buy it.

Cut to this morning.

I wake up around noon. Exhausted. Shower and start to get ready. I see a huge Urban Outfitters bag in the corner of my room. I have a small shopping flashback. Oh no. I rummage through the bag to see what I bought…

Before I continue I have to point this out. The necklace I bought, although it’s freagin awesome and I love it, is an initial necklace. At the time of my purchase I did not realize this at all and just got the first one I saw; with the initial B on it. What does B stand for??? Hell if I know. I’m an idiot though, I know that. I’m gonna say it stands for BAMF. Or possibly, “This is what you get when you Binge drink.” Maybe it should just stand for Bad decision, or Big mistake. The possibilities are endless really.

There’s more. Urbanoutfitters.com doesn’t have the other stuff I bought listed =( so I’ll just tell you about it. I got a new brown purse/clutch, a black vest that has a tuxedo front, a bottle-opening silver ring, a black racerback tank top that says Broke is the New Black (that was for Juicy but she said it had negative energy and couldn’t wear it. So I’m keeping it), and of course… my fedora. I think that’s all. I think. Unfortunately, this is the only pic I have of the fedora.

Please don’t ask what I’m doing… it’s kind of a long story. I really don’t think I could have pulled off that look on my face sans fedora. They just make you feel super bad ass. Even though I spent half a paycheck at Urban, I think I’m gonna go back and get the brown one too. I’m also going to return the black vest. I might return some other stuff but I have to try it all on first. OH AND I got earrings. Forgot about those.

See… that’s why I try to stay away from the mall. I fuckin love that hat though.