Drinking & Shopping Do NOT Mix

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you know that yesterday was a fabulous Monday for me. For those of you who don’t, let me explain.

Yesterday was the opening day game for the Washington Nationals baseball team. The game was at 3:05 pm. “Wow… that’s perfect for people with 9-5 jobs!” … uhh syke. Luckily, my job is not your typical 9-5 thanks to a little thing I like to call “flex hours”.

Our flex hours are pretty common. They allow you to change your hours from the normal 9-5 (actually it’s 9-6 but I’ll just use 9-5 for the purpose of the example) to other hours like 8-4, 7-3, 10-6, etc. I interpreted this to mean, “Dude… I can come in at noon and stay till 8 pm! Fucking crucial!” The latest the flex hours start is 10 am… needless to say I’ve completely taken advantage of the flex hours and bended them to meet my extended sleeping needs. But hey, I’m getting in my 8 hours! (Most of the time anyways)

I showed up to work at noon and took off for the game at 2 pm. It was the best Monday maybe ever. Juicy also took off a few hours of work and came with me since I had two tickets. The only reason I got these tickets is because my dad gets season tickets but wasn’t able to take off any work (it’s big time busy season right now); but I’m not an accountant (thank God) so I jumped (literally) on the chance to go to opening day.

[I'm adding this next part in b/c it's too good to leave out]

Normally we have a parking pass so we can drive and park near the stadium. For this game my dad gave up the parking pass to the other two people using our other tickets to go to the game. So we have no parking pass. My dad and brother tell us to take metro (subway… whatever you call it). I hate metro. With a passion. I passionately hate metro. Juicy, being my best friend and being awesome, also hates metro. On our way driving to the metro station (we didn’t know what else to do) we’re talking about how much metro sucks and how long its gonna take and how the hell are we gonna find parking in the middle of the day; just your basic bitching really.

Then we get there and not only could we not find parking… we couldn’t even find the damn parking lot. In our genius heads we had decided to go to a metro station closer to our destination so that we would only have to be on metro for a short period of time. But that means we were both completely unfamiliar with this metro station. We start to get very frustrated; time ticking away. I announce that I have something we could, ahem, smoke. Two pm on a Monday… and she’s all for it. She’s already had two beers at lunch. I love this girl. So we do.

Right after, Juicy looks at me and says, “Lets just drive there.” I think, Brilliant! Then I come to my senses and ask if she knows where it is. She says no. We sit and think for a second. Juicy blurts out, “Maybe the address is on the tickets!” I dive into my purse, grab the tickets and hand one to Juicy so we can both scan them looking for an address. No luck. Juicy then proclaims, “Oh I know how to get there, don’t worry just start driving.” Ummmmm hmmmm.

There are many problems with this. 1) She’s totally lying. She has no idea where to go. 2) Nationals Park, although gorgeous, is in Southeast DC… literally in the middle of Anacostia. Non-DCers might not know what that means. I’m going to compare it to Compton. Anacostia is the DC version of Compton. I would not recommend driving or hanging around Anacostia… especially if you’re a little white girl. 3) With no parking pass, we have no idea where we are going to park… in Anacostia… where someone will probably break into my beautiful GiGi or steal her.  4) My laptop is in my car. 5) I have a whole closet in my car. 6) I have a huge purse with my checkbook and some credit cards in it (I switch purses a lot) in my car. 7) Landrovers stick out in Anacostia. 9) White girls in Landrovers blasting rap music really stick out in Anacostia. 10) We don’t have any weapons… or mace or anything except for stilettos to beat a potential mugger with. We are helpless, blond, snotty, designer wearing, ticket holding girls. Oh yeah and we’re kinda blazed. (I had to skip the #8 b/c it made a smiley face with sunglasses on… see

I tell Juicy this. She says that we should just valet the car in front of the stadium. I jump in my seat and turn to face her, “THEY HAVE VALET!?!?” I think I scared her, “Oh hahah nooo I was saying it would be cool if they did.” I pout and say it’s a damn good idea.  Then Juicy has a “duh” moment and says, “Uh, why don’t we use your navigation and put in the metro stop at the park?” Such amazing intelligence. I put it in; it works. She says maybe the metro station there has a parking garage. Good thinking. I agree that driving is the best bet (I really hate metro) and believe that we’ll be able to find somwhere semi-safe to park. All the other worries are forgotten and we head to the ghetto.

We actually found a parking garage right next to the stadium to park in so that was lucky. It was $30 though and I only had $15. Juicy had $1… so helpful.  I tried to talk my way through that one but, it’s pretty obvious… the garage attendant just wants my money. He tells me to park, go to an ATM and bring him the $$ before we go to the game; or he cant promise what will happen to my car. Great. Just great. Now Juicy and I are walking around Anacostia looking for an ATM. Really safe.

While waiting to cross the road we “met” some interesting characters; drug dealers I think they’re called. Very typical looking, coulda been in a movie. They whistled at our asses and said, “daaaayyyuum you hot”. Ugh the grammar makes me shudder. I replied, “Yeah, we know.” Juicy completely ignored them which was probably a good move. Then they heckled us for tickets and invited us to party with them until finally the light changed and we raced across the street. The same thing happened when we had to cross the street to get back. Like they forgot that whole episode had already happened. Idiots.

On our way back to the garage I tell Juicy that if I was a black girl, the black (drug dealer) with the red backwards hat would have been totally my type. She stares at me in disgust. “I know!” I explain, “That’s why I thank God every day that I’m white. My taste in men is awful! If I had been born a black girl; I would have loved guys like that.” Juicy starts to see where I’m going with this, “Uhhh yeah it’s a really good thing you’re white. You do like your men a lil ghetto.” I ponder this for a moment, “Holy shit, if I was black I’d probably have at least 5 kids by now!” Juicy adds, “Yup… and all from different baby daddy’s.”

Us in unison, “Eww. Thank God I’m/Your white.”

Our conversations are incredible.

Finally we give the garage guy the money and turn the other corner and behold… Nationals Stadium. It’s gorgeous. Anacostia doesn’t deserve it. It’s sad really, Anacostia has so much potential: They have a big pretty river… it’s in DC…. now they have a stadium. That’s all I can think of right now. Other than those things it’s a total wasteland. No offense, but it’s just on the wrong side of the river. And I normally stay away. Except on game day of course.

Here’s a very small Anacostia example…

Before the stadium

After the stadium

Before the stadium

After the stadium

Waterfront... and gorgeous

Ok last picture

Anyways… it’s a very scary place with bars on windows or boarded up windows and if I had wanted crack I’m pretty sure I could have scored some in less than 5 seconds. When I first starting driving at 16 my dad told me, “If you’re ever on 395 and you see signs for Anacostia, you’re going the wrong way and you need to turn around… but don’t turn around in Anacostia, find somewhere else to turn around. Do not go into Anacostia.” Because of his words I basically just stay away from 395 altogether. Even to this day I’m pretty clueless when it comes to 395. I only know it goes to Anacostia, and I know I don’t wanna be there. One time in highschool bff and I were trying to find a club downtown and ended up in Anacostia around midnight on a Saturday. I’ve never been so scared in my life.

[Ok back to original writing]

The game was fab. We hardly watched any of it but I got some amaaazing people watching in. We drank a ridiculous amount of Miller Light. We tried to sweet talk our way into club seats. The “bouncer” guy told us to come back next game and he’d let us in (opening day was sold out). The Nat’s almost coulda possibly won after a two run homer in the 9th. But… of course… they lost. 9-8… Not a bad game.

After the game we went to a bar/restaurant at the mall to meet with Juicy’s new boy toy turned possible boyfriend. Two raspberry martini’s in I decide I have to have a fedora and I have to have it now. I stand and announce that I’m going to Urban Outfitters to buy a fedora. Boy toy looks at me like I may have lost it but Juicy’s used to me doing stuff like this. She gives me her credit card and tells me to buy her something awesome that she’ll love. I say Yay; and off I go.

I’m drunk at this point btw. The mall closes in 30 minutes and the last time I went into Urban to buy “one” thing… well, I didn’t leave with only one thing. This is why I think I probably have a shopping problem: When I walked into Urban Outfitters, I got high just by looking around at the clothes. Yeah.

The fedora falls to the back of my mind and I start picking things I love off of tables and racks barely looking at price tags. I get to the back of the store and see a fedora… for some reason a very faint bell begins ringing in my head. I pause to contemplate the ringing. Then came the “AhA!” moment and I pick up every fedora I see and take all my stuff to the register. I demand that the sales guy help me decide which fedora to get. I put on every fedora for this guy and we narrow it down to two: The same style, one’s black and one’s brown. He actually told me I was too blond for the black one but I liked it. Sales guy criticism only goes so far in my book.

They don’t have the brown one in my size and I mentally say “HA!” to the sales guy and decide to buy the black one. He rings up all my stuff… if I hadn’t been drunk I would have had a panic attack. But I was drunk, so I just whip out my credit card, flip my hair a bit and tell him to hold the brown fedora for me when they get it in my size b/c I will be coming back to buy it.

Cut to this morning.

I wake up around noon. Exhausted. Shower and start to get ready. I see a huge Urban Outfitters bag in the corner of my room. I have a small shopping flashback. Oh no. I rummage through the bag to see what I bought…

Before I continue I have to point this out. The necklace I bought, although it’s freagin awesome and I love it, is an initial necklace. At the time of my purchase I did not realize this at all and just got the first one I saw; with the initial B on it. What does B stand for??? Hell if I know. I’m an idiot though, I know that. I’m gonna say it stands for BAMF. Or possibly, “This is what you get when you Binge drink.” Maybe it should just stand for Bad decision, or Big mistake. The possibilities are endless really.

There’s more. Urbanoutfitters.com doesn’t have the other stuff I bought listed =( so I’ll just tell you about it. I got a new brown purse/clutch, a black vest that has a tuxedo front, a bottle-opening silver ring, a black racerback tank top that says Broke is the New Black (that was for Juicy but she said it had negative energy and couldn’t wear it. So I’m keeping it), and of course… my fedora. I think that’s all. I think. Unfortunately, this is the only pic I have of the fedora.

Please don’t ask what I’m doing… it’s kind of a long story. I really don’t think I could have pulled off that look on my face sans fedora. They just make you feel super bad ass. Even though I spent half a paycheck at Urban, I think I’m gonna go back and get the brown one too. I’m also going to return the black vest. I might return some other stuff but I have to try it all on first. OH AND I got earrings. Forgot about those.

See… that’s why I try to stay away from the mall. I fuckin love that hat though.

I’m actually being a busy honey bee at work today. I know; shocker. I have lots to tell but no time to write at the moment. I do have time to post my new favorite commercial though. It made me laugh my ass off and rewind to watch it 5 times. It also kind of makes me want a Heineken… I guess that means their advertising department is doing a super fab job. The guys faces are freagin priceless.

Words of Encouragement

Some words can make all the difference. Encouraging words coming from someone you look up to can change your whole outlook and open your eyes to possibility. Hostile words can be emotionally damaging and hinder you from progress. The last 24 hours has been full of people giving me their 2 cents concerning my life and the path I’m on. And no, I didn’t fucking ask for it.

I was hanging out with my brother last night at his place. Oh btw, he just got dumped last week by the girl he was planning on marrying one day; so he’s not in the best of spirits. So he’s all depressed and “ohhh what am I gonna do now? What will I ever do without her? What am I doing with my life?” When out of the blue, he fucking turns on me, the little sister who is out at midnight to console her big bro, and says,

“Well you’re never gonna be happy unless you get a different job, you know you hate that job. You don’t do any work there anyways! You do nothing. You’ve gotta figure out what you’re doing with your life. Ya know you can’t live at home forever.”

I’m completely taken aback. His roommate is sitting in the same room so I can’t scream at him. And I didn’t want to. He’s just projecting his own miserableness onto me. But still, it hurt. He knows I don’t plan on living at home much longer. And seriously? Guess where he lived till he was 26…. My grandmothers house. So fucking gimmie a break. You live in a condo that belongs to DAD. Yes it is quite a shame dad doesn’t have two condos and fuck you brother for being allergic to my dog so I can’t live there.

Then this morning, I guess I deserved this, I didn’t get up till 11 and instead of throwing on clothes and going to work; I went downstairs in my pjs and had some cereal and sat in the sun (like a dog). My mom’s in the same room and she held her tongue for a good 20 minutes before she said anything about work. Then she basically said the same thing my brother said; except she offered “brilliant” solutions. AKA telling me all about all of her friends’ kids and the wonderful jobs they have that they just Love. NOT helpful. Then she tells me I must be very depressed b/c otherwise why would I be lying on the couch when I should be at work.

Getting ready for work I was not very happy. I was wallowing in depression. I got to work around noon. I went to get coffee and of course, it’s gone, b/c who drinks coffee for lunch? Then Sue walks in. I love Sue. I’ve known her since I was 10 years old? Maybe even younger. She’s just a lot of fun for an older person and has a sarcastic sense of humor which I love. Oh and she always tells me how awesome I look. Which I also love.

As I’m getting water she asks me how the dating life is going and I tell her dating is lame so it’s not going… anywhere. Then she says well, what are you gonna do just live with your parents your whole life? And I look at her and say hell no to which she replies,

“I didn’t think so, you never seemed like the kind of person to do that. You’ve always struck me as someone who is gonna go really far once you figure out where you wanna go. And don’t worry, you’ll figure it out. I know you will.”

I almost cried. Just a few encouraging  words in a storm of negativity made all the difference. Why must people always be so negative? Instead of building you up they want to point out your flaws. Its just unnecessary. I’m already aware of my flaws. I know I don’t like my job. I know I really wanna move into my own place. I know this isn’t what I was born to do. Why cant more people be like Sue? Instead of causing me to wallow in my pathetic depressing life; her words gave me hope.

Wherever you are in your life right now; I hope you know that you have the potential to achieve anything: To achieve everything. I don’t even know most of you, but I know you can do it. We all have it in us to be amazing; we’ve just have to figure out who or what we want to be.

Happy Monday!

Classic Juicy G-chat

juicy: what did you do last night
me: umm watched the sisterhood of the traveling pants 2
and watched practical magic
juicy: HAHAH YESSSSSSs
amazing
yessss
me: and watched The Ringer
and watccheed the beggining of Slackers
juicy: holy moley 3 movies
impressive
3.2 movies
me: and went to bed at 4
i knowk, a shit ton of movies
juicy: woah
why 4am?
me: i wasnt tired till them
then
i dunno
juicy: man oh man
Sent at 1:02 PM on Monday
juicy: i was asleep at 9!
me: whoa
i dunno how u do that
juicy: ambien cr

Random Monday Thoughts

I figured out all the words to All-American Rejects “Hope it gives you hell” song this weekend. I love it now. I dunno how I didn’t get it before.

As I was writing the letter to Beyonce (through research) I realized she sang the “Diva” song. I hadn’t known this before. I’m an idiot.

I’m really really glad that Lady GaGa wasn’t a one hit wonder. Check out “Poker Face“.

Black Tie Gala’s with open bar and silent auctions are the BEST. Especially when your date is your dad. Especially when your dad drinks enough to not be able to remember what he bid on and what I bid on. (My mom hates these things so he always takes me.) My salon was sponsoring the dinner (it was a community event) and had items in the silent auction. YAAAYY!! I bid on three of the four items. Two gift certificates both worth $200 each for any service at the salon, and at the last minute a gift basket with a Chi straightener in it and a buncha brushes and shampoo and stuff valued at $400. I won it alllllll. $400 to the salon I already go to… and I need an appointment bad anyways… and the $400 gift basket… for $320 Free! THANKS DAD! Seriously, this takes a huge financial stress off of me for at least 8 months. Getting your hair done is expensive. And my straightener was gonna break any day now. I’ve never been so happy.

My hair girl was there and she was being cute and said, “Omg who does you hair it looks sooo good!”

So I said, “Oh I have an amazing hair stylist I’m so lucky to have her. He he. I really need to get my ass back to the salon though, it’s about time.”

Then she got serious, inspected my hair and said, “Yea you really do, your roots are looking terrible.” Thanks girl. You’re so sweet.

But anyways, it was funny. AND there’s more… The Drifters were there. Like from the 50’s (I think) it was SO cool. I felt like I was in Hairspray or something dancing with my dad to “My Girl”. It was adorable.

I’m trying to get a good base tan before I jet to the Florida Keys on Thursday. Wish me luck. I’m still pale as white paint after 2 tanning sessions. Ugh.

My mom left a lower cabinet open and I ran right into it. I have a nasty lookin bruise on my thigh now that matches the one on my other thigh I got from snowboarding… They’re gonna look fabulous in a bikini.

Juicy and I are planning on having “theme nights” for our vacation. It’s gonna be awesome. I love dressing up. So far we have Indian Princess night, Punk Rock Princess night, Disney Princess Night, Pop Princess Night, and Hawaiian Princess Night. I’m sure you’ve figured out the overall theme. Any ideas?

A Look Back… But Just A Quickie

I’ve got a lot to write about and no real chunk of time to actually write it. So my solution is, of course, to put it off till later Not everything changes with a New Year, especially not procrastination. Besides, it wasn’t even one of my resolutions.

I do feel like writing something though and I found this on an adorable new blog I stumbled across called Erin Uncensored so I’m gonna be a copy cat. You can’t copy write blogs anyways…(or can you?) Surprisingly, our first answers are identical. weiiiird.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? get over a relationship way quicker than I expected to… like WAY quicker.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year? I don’t remember the resolutions I made last year but if I did make any they are null and void because I was in the midst of an insane brainwashing relationshit. This years resolutions I think I’ve listed in a previous post… move out, tone up, oh and win the lottery or marry that semi famous guy. either/or.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
no. Friends, family and I were sans baby this year. phew.

4. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? My own space. Or if I may sound corny for a sec.. “a place to call my own”. And a private jet.

5. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? wow. That’s a harder one. And of course I don’t have my day planner with me.  Oh well, I know I remember the big ones…

January 14- I go to jail for 3 days. Me. Jail. 3 days, and nights. I will never forget that. What a fuckin way to start the year. I shoulda known then… but… you never know till ya know right? Mom was right. (everyone was right)

January 29- Business trip to Vietnam. Pretty neato unless your crazy bf thinks you’re sleeping with your married with baby overweight boss and therefore harasses you to the point of complete humiliation and racks up a HUGE overseas phone bill.

February and March= really awful blur. I do remember a tornado in Atlanta though.

April 4, 3:00 AM- Drunk boyfriend wakes me up to dump me. Around 4:00 PM- catch a flight to go home.

April 18- My bff and I fly back to ex-boyfriends and now my ex apartment to move my stuff out and roadtrip back to my new home… with the parents.

May 5- two week Hawaiian cruise (couldn’t have come at a better time)

Mid June- Best birthday I’ve ever had. I realize I have the most amazing friends ever.

July 17- Kenny Chesney Concert in Virginia Beach! SO GOOD! And we got to visit friends, a great trip.

July 26- Rascal Flatts and Taylor Swift concert! Maybe the best concert ever.

August 29- Trip to Key West with two girlfriends. The best time I’ve ever had hands down. Another trip is in the works for this year.

September 20- I meet my future husband (he doesn’t know it yet)

September 28- Redskins beat the Cowboys!!!

October 2- New Kids on the Block Concert. I know. I know. I know. I’m amazing.

October 31- Best Halloween in a long time, maybe ever.

November 13- My lucky day.

December 21- My girls and I go to the Eagles vs. Redskins game, get wasted and we win.

There’s a lot that I left out, I thought one for every month was good enough.

6. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting and staying out of that relationship. and being really really happy about it.

7. What was your biggest failure in 2008? The amount of debt I racked up. :/

8. Where did most of your money go?
shopping, eating out, bills, buying stuff for the apartment that I ended up vacating, moving (moving is expensive!), repairs on my truck, drinking, getting my hair done, eating out, drinking, the usual.

9. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder? def happier!!
b) Thinner or fatter? hmmm damn I think about the same. After the breakup I was basically anorexic but now I’m back to normal.
c) Richer or poorer? DEF richer

10. What do you wish you’d done more of? Listening to other people (or at least hearing them out)

11. What do you wish you’d done less of? Listening to my ex and basically just putting up with alllllllllll that shit. ughh it makes me mad just thinking about it.

12. Did you fall in love in 2008? at the end of it, with myself again. Thank God.

13. What was your favorite TV program? Weeds

14. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I don’t hate anyone. I just feel bad for them.

15. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 24 and I went to a Tim McGraw concert! Then of course we went out to celebrate some more.

16. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? I have no idea. I don’t have regrets so I wouldn’t change anything really. But who knows if I would’ve been happier if I had dumped the ex back in June of ‘07 (like I did) but then not gotten back together with him. I have no idea where my life would be right now.

17. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? get into my skinny jeans dammit. and stay fabulously awesome

18. What kept you sane?
Vacation, thinking of vacation, planning vacation, friends, my dog, family, blogging, my therapist, nicotine unfortunately and happy hour.

19. What political issue stirred you the most? I’m not talking about this right now.

20. Who was the best new person you met? Hard to narrow down, and too early to tell anyways!

21. Tell us what valuable life lessons you learned in 2008… My dad’s words really are true, “Honey, it really shouldn’t be this hard”

I just noticed I can hear a clock ticking from somewhere in the office…

Strange. I have never ever noticed that before. And now it’s driving me crazy and getting louder. The clock must die.

Glad I got that off my chest. That wasn’t what I set out to blog about today at all. How easily I get distracted. Ridiculous. It’s so loud. Anyways…

I had the best weekend ever. That’s what I wanted to talk about. Stupid Mondays and their stupid clocks ruining my amazing weekend.

One of my best friends birthdays (the aforementioned Kendra) was Friday. So all the girls got all dressed up for that which I love doing and we went to Georgetown.  Gotta Love G Town. Gotta love having all pretty friends… gets a lot of attention. People wonder where our ugly friend is… we don’t have one. Not anything against ugly people at all. I love ugly people, they just aren’t in this group for some reason. And really the best part about attention from people at bars obviously is the copious amounts of free alcohol they give you (Attention= Free Booze, bet your mom didn’t teach you that).

And if you were wondering, Yes, Kendra and Daniel got back together. However, they broke up the day before her birthday because she found out he’s been cheating on her for months. And it wasn’t with me, thank God for that. Votes are still being counted on whether or not they will get back together AGAIN…

So with that poll, I need to get my ass out of the office. Sorry for barely even starting my awesome weekend story, but it’s time to Rock Band and eat soup (Monday is Soup Night )

To be continued….

Nothing Good Ever Happens After Midnight…

I am the Devil.

No, not really, that would be crazy. Evil maybe. Awful friend. Conniving. Thoughtless. Those would all work. You could also say that I’m a bitch, two-faced, etc, etc. How do I get myself into these situations? Oh wait, I know, I find them extremely entertaining and exciting. Damn. I may have a few issues.

So, story time kids, gather round!

Background: I have this really good friend, lets call her Kendra. Kendra has been dating this boy, lets call him Daniel, on and off but mostly on for a year and a half. They break up alot, its really bad. They should really move on. From the moment I met Daniel he flirted with me like crazy. He’s a cool guy other than the fact that he’s a lousy boyfriend so I coyly flirted back when Kendra wasn’t around but I was never obvious at all. (yes I know, I’m already an awful person) moving on. They broke up like ohhhhh 3 days ago? Mayyyyybe 4. And the story begins…

Last Night: I’m at a bar with a friend (who is also very good friends with Kendra) watching Monday Night Football. After the game, guess who walks in the bar…? Daniel, duh. The friend I’m with, lets call her Juicy (I know, that’s weird, but I like it), goes, “Oh my God Daniel just walked in”. I wanna go say hi and Juicy says we shouldn’t because of Kendra. She’s a loyal friend. I am a piece of awfulness. We say hi on our way out the door and he tells me he wants me to stay. I say no (don’t praise me yet). I drive Juicy home and then…

Yeah. Uh huh. I went back to the bar. Why? I really don’t know. I was bored, he’s fun, I didn’t wanna go home yet…There could be many reasons but none of them are good. So, Enter Bar for the second time. He’s excited, as he should be, I’m awesome. We hang out for a while (meaning we play pool and make out like we are the only people in the bar… however we are not the only people in the bar at all). And no I wasn’t the kissing instigator; but being a participant is just as bad. Bar closes. We go to his friends house and hang out for another hour, drunk. At this point I’m already feeling totally guilty and wondering what I’m doing there. I take him back to his car even though I don’t want to. I just wanna go home. But he needs a ride, so I do. And then I go home.

I am fucked. He likes me. Yeah, he told me. And wants to go out again. Like a date. Fuck that. My friends are going to KILL me if they find out what I did. And by kill me, I mean hate me and not be my friend anymore and spread nasty gossip along the lines of “whore” “bitch” “slut” “fake” “not trustworthy”. Yeah. They cant find out. That was such a bad idea. And I can’t believe he has the nerve to say we should go out on a date. Ugh and Ew. I wouldn’t never date him b/c he’s just completely not my type of guy (he doesn’t have a good job, car, money, degree of any sort. I’m so superficial, I know. Don’t hate). So why do I find stuff like this so fun? I really do love these girls with all my heart. Kendra’s especially my favorite why did I do this?!? Ugh this is awful. Let’s hope they’re not bloggers. Wouldn’t that be my fuckin luck.

69 people love me

so im drunk. shocker. and at the beach actually. and felt like getting online b/c my brother is in the hot tub with his gf and i thought id give them a good 30 minutes alone… so im checking my blog and i have 69 hits. I have a dirty mind but i thought that deserved an entry.

reading that over, i feel like a huge huge huge loser. my brother and his gf are in the hot tub, while im in the beach house, alone, online, writing on my blog. dammit. but i dont want a boyfriend. its just at times like these that i do. i need a rent a boyfriend but that sounds highly whoreish.

wow… 4 days later, no longer at the beach and completely sober reading what i forgot to finish or publish. i am totally retarded sometimes. sadly it kind of makes me want to go get drunk.. too bad I’m at work. but not for too much longer yayyy! Damn, reading it also makes me wanna go back to the beach. ok im gonna dip outta here without finishing my time report, whatev ill do it tomorrow morning. worst worker ever, sometimes. like at 6 o’clock on mondays. and i am way too pumped about Monday night football to stay here any longer. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!? haha yessss

oh wait, side note… song im obsessed with at the moment… listen to it it’ll make you smile )

Tim McGraw “Last Dollar”

1-2-3 Like a bird I sing
Cause you’ve given me the most beautiful set of wings
I’m so glad you’re here today
Cause tomorrow I might have to go and fly away
Hey!

Verse1:
I’m down to my last dollar
I’ve walk right through my shoes
Just a small reminder of the hell that I’ve gone through
But look at me still smiling
As I’m wondering what I’ll do
Since I ain’t got nothing
I’ve got nothing to lose
Everybody say “HaHaHaHa, HaHaHaHa”
My friends are always giving me
Watches, hats, and wine
That’s how I know this is serious
That’s how I know it’s time
I don’t have to worry
About things that I don’t have
Cause if I ain’t got nothing
I’ve got nothing to hold me back

Chorus:
1-2-3 Like a bird I sing
Cause you’ve given me the most beautiful set of wings
I’m so glad you’re here today
Cause tomorrow I might have to go and fly away
Fly away, fly away

Verse 2:
There’s nothing that’s worth keeping me
From places I should go
From happyville to lovingland
I’m gonna tour from coast to coast
I’m leaving everything behind
There’s not much that I need
Cause If I ain’t got nothing
I’m footloose and fancy free

Chorus

Look at me so free
Nothings holding me down(down)
Look at me so free
Can’t keep my feet on the ground

1-2-3 Like a bird I sing
Cause you’ve given me the most beautiful set of wings
I’m so glad you’re here today
Cause tomorrow I might have to go and
1-2-3 Like a bird I sing
Cause you’ve given me the most beautiful set of wings
I’m so glad you’re here today
Cause tomorrow I might have to go and fly away
Fly away, Fly Away, Fly away, Fly away
Fly

1-2-3 Like a bird I sing
Cause you’ve given me the most beautiful set of wings

(Tim’s Little Girls) 1-2-3 Like a bird I sing
Cause you’ve given me the most beautiful set of wings

(Tim’s Little Girls)1-2-3 Like a bird I sing
Cause you’ve given me the most beautiful set of wings

(Faith Hill, “Keep Going”)

(Tim’s Little Girls) 1-2-3 Like a bird I sing
Cause you’ve given me the most beautiful set of wings

Manic Monday… not so much

It’s 5:38 Monday evening and I’m bored at work. Shocker. With no projects to work on or assignments to finish, I came up with the brilliant idea to start a blog. And I am not a blogger. But I guess I am now.

You’re probably wondering, Why on earth don’t you just go home? It’s after 5:30! Yes, duh, I know this. Unfortunately I was really, really late to work this morning. Not uncharacteristic but I’m usually not almost two hours late… that’s pushing it. It’s not like I missed anything though, there’s nothing to do.

Wanna know what I do? Public Relations. Not really bad ass PR like Samantha Jones or anything. We do Non-profits. Which can occasionally be cool. But not today.

Most people would probably love having nothing to do but I don’t. I could be out doing so many other things than sitting at a desk doing nothing. I honestly never thought I would have a desk job. no scratch that… a desk job in a cube. That’s being more honest. I guess I just thought I would be famous or rich by now? Not because of any amazing skill or talent I have (because I don’t) just cause I think I’m awesome and I thought everyone would have realized that by now and I’d be famous for it..? yeah I’m pretty sure that’s what I was thinking when I was a teenager. Just wait Heather… It’s gonna happen. I am an idiot. I’m really good at not thinking about the inevitable and then I’m shocked and appalled when it happens. Damn this desk. Damn it.

Now it’s 6:03. Wow it took me a while to write hardly anything. Actually that’s kind of a lot. My boss would be so happy to come across this blog I’m sure. Gah that would be bad. Whatever, don’t think about it. Just go with it, haha.

So I want this blog to have a purpose, not just be a journal type thing. I don’t really do journals… long story. Not today, because even though I was late to work, I am leaving soon (NOTHING to do here people) but starting next post I want it to be more of an advice, opinion, beliefs, 20 something perspective on life, love, work, fun, health, anything.

I may only be 24 (yes the 20-something is 24) but I’ve been through some crazy shit; and so have my friends. So I’ll tell you about it! and maybe you can relate or maybe what we’ve done can teach you a thing or two about what to do and what to definitely not ever do or maybe you’ll just laugh, because we are completely retarded sometimes. (most of the time)

Ok 6:19. It’s totally late enough to leave. I’m not a big TV person, but tonight is a big TV night for me. The Hills is FINALLY starting again, yesssssssss! and of course, gotta watch Weeds. My two favorite shows (the only ones I watch really) all in one night. Fabulous. xoxo