Unrelated Note of Stupidity

Holy flying groundhog balls I am Retarded. This whole day I’ve been putting Wednesday and Hump day on everything and it’s fucking Tuesday!!!

WHY DID NO ON TELL ME IT’S TUESDAY!? HOW AM I THIS RETARDED?

Uggghhh this is gonna be a long week.

Planets and Arkansas Come Together

2:00 in the afternoon. Yet to really do much of anything at work despite the voice in my head telling me I should really buckle down and just do it. Well that’s false, I’ve done a lot at work, it’s just not work related. I’ve read countless blogs, played online games, and debated whether or not I feel like writing a post today. Evidently I do. I also read my horoscope for January and never really noticed how scientific horoscopes try to be. Example:

Your life is changing quite dramatically for the better, dear Gemini. Jupiter, planet of happiness, expansion, and good fortune, will now move into Aquarius for the first time since 1997 on January 5. Jupiter will stay in this sign for a year, until January 18, 2010.

Now that Jupiter will be in fellow air sign Aquarius, you will have more support from Jupiter than you’ve had in a very long time. The difference will soon become deliciously obvious as you go through your New Year – everything will be so much easier for you to achieve because the environment around you will be so much more supportive. You’ve labored through the trenches, but finally you’ll get help from VIPs and influential friends and you’ll be able to achieve your aims. In short, you are about to enter a much sweeter, softer phase.

…

the universe will send you a very positive, friendly eclipse, also in Aquarius, on January 26. This eclipse will open a door very wide in this very same area that we’ve been discussing: communication, travel, commerce, pursuits for higher education, the courts, and so forth.

This solar eclipse will fall very close to Jupiter, and also on that day, Mercury, your ruler, will conjoin Venus, a planet not only associated with pleasure, but also with money. One way or another, you seem to benefit financially from all that will be going on in this realm.
…

Well I feel super important. I even noticed while reading that the difference will soon be deliciously obvious and that the universe is going to send me a friendly eclipse that the crinkle I get between my eyebrows when I’m stressed or worried or bored or concentrating slowly faded and I smiled. Yes I smiled because I adore the use of the word delicious and because I always knew the universe knew how important I was. Now an eclipse to prove it. I hope it’s as bad ass as the Twilight book because if it’s not I’m afraid that I am going to be sorely dissapointed on January 26th. Which is a MONDAY btw. Does anything good/cool/amazing ever happen on Mondays? After football season I mean. No it does not. This brings the worry wrinkle back.

I just took a quiz for fun at Find Your Spot. A website that matches you with compatible cities should you want to move somewhere. Guess what my top 5 were?

1. Las Vegas, Nevada ~ The entertainment capital of the world.

2. Honolulu, Hawaii ~ America’s Tropical Paradise.

3. Baton Rouge, Louisiana ~ The Cajun Capital.

4. Little Rock, Arkansas ~ Where America Comes Together.  (I shit you not)

5. Charleston, South Carolina ~ Cosmopolitan Southern City.

They give you 25 top cities but I thought 5 gave you a good gist of things. I couldn’t get over the fact that Vegas was number one until I was writing them out and realized that Little Rock’s Slogan is Where America Comes Together. Do we all share a cigarette after too? And why the Fuck would anyone wanna move to Arkansas anyways??? So I click on Arkansas b/c I can’t believe it made the top 5.

Did you know that all maybelline products are made there? I did not. Did you know that Little Rock is where they shot Gone With The Wind? I should have known that but still, no I did not. The rest of the “Move to Arkansas you’ll love it” page talks about the pretty trees and skyline and how modern yet classic the city is. Interesting, I didn’t know that either. Nor do I really care. You border Mississippi, Arkansas! You’re dead to me. You are the rat and Mississippi is the sewer. You can both rot in the southernmost pits of hell for all I care.

Georgia however, Georgia I love. I was very surprised not to find Atlanta on my list. Maybe it’s destiny that it’s not there. Destiny is an awful word. Maybe it’s better that it’s not there. Too many ex’s in Atlanta anyways. Wouldn’t wanna run into any of them. Really I wouldn’t. I cringe at the thought and my crinkle is back again. I’m sick of gchating. I just want to move to #2 but it’s too far away. I wish I was Hawaiian. Then I’d look ethnic too. I’ve always wanted to look ethnic.