I’m Still Alive

I’ve had so much going on and on my mind recently. Let’s do it in bullet points.

• BFF hates me. I haven’t talked to her in almost 2 weeks. Uber long story- as far as I can tell it all stems from hockey. Seriously. One minute I’m happy go lucky getting super into Caps hockey and loving all over it; the next minute BFF is pissed as hell at me for going to a game and I’m confused like whoa wondering what I did wrong. I def thought she would have called by now so I would say this is looking really bad. I could write a really long post all about the fight and what’s been going on since then- and I did I just didn’t publish it. It was just too much. I can’t believe it’s come to this. I never ever thought my best friend would disown me based on her belief that I’m a bandwagon fan. It’s totally unreal. I have no idea what to do.
• On that note- Caps choked in game 7 vs the Penguins. I was there. It was awful. Gut-wrenching. I could go on forever about how bad it was. All the stress and buildup of the playoffs ended in the Caps just basically not showing up for the most important game thus far. It ended in tears; literally for me. It was uplifting to cheer on our team and show our love and support though even after they totally bombed the game. I can’t wait for next season. When does bandwagon fan just become fan? Just curious.
• After the game I had the best night of my life. Best. Night. Ever. Hands down. It was insane and didn’t end till 5:30 am. I could write a whole post about this too. I probably will soon. Small snippet- I go to smoke a cigarette and find myself face to face with Ovechkin. Seriously. I froze at the top of the steps basically blocking the entrance and gaped at him. I still had my Caps hat on b/c my hair was atrocious and he glanced at it and then goes, “Hey, sorry about the game.” I swoon and try to compose myself. I could think of nothing better to say than, “You don’t have to apologize!!” That’s it. Thank God I didn’t blurt out some of the other stuff that was running full speed through my brain like, “I love you!” or “Holy fuck you’re hot” or “Love Hot Sex Want Amazing Wow Omg” Etc. Then I realized I was still gaping and swooning and blocking the entrance so I moved aside- totally stunned. From there it only got better. Not in the “love hot sex want” category- sadly; but it was in the “my life fucking rocks” category. Oh and I got so wasted I left my phone at the bar. Go me. I still don’t have it… trying not to freak out. Totally worth it.
• I lost my voice from screaming at the game. It still hasn’t come back to me. I sound like shit. Staying up till 5:30 am did not help my voice at all. I’m hoping I sound more raspy sexy than man-ish. The lack of voice would have interfered with my awesome night but alcohol came to the rescue! Yaaayyy alcohol!
• I just got a new boss. It’s a woman. Fml. She starts on Monday and my life as I know it may be over. Sigh.
• Kenny Chesney concert coming up on the 22nd!! I’m sooo excited! Kenny concerts are thebomb.com.
• Fringe is over for now =( the last episode was incredible with a capital I. I loove the direction the show is going! If you don’t watch Fringe- you need to jump on the bandwagon now. You wont regret it.
• My alleged allergies are killing me. Alleged b/c I’ve never had allergies before but this year I seem to have developed them- bad. Allergies are AWFUL. How do people put up with this shit?!? Ughhh!
• I ordered the hottest lbd from bebe.com on Monday night. Check. It. Out. Payed way too much for it. Don’t even care. I can’t wait to wear the hell out of it.
  

  HOTNESS

There’s more but that’s all I got for now. Promise to write on a much more consistent basis. =) Yay for Friday tomorrow!

Shortest Update Ever

Where the heck do I start? I have so much to do right now that blogging may actually be a crime but it’s been way too long. I seriously can’t hold everything in anymore and I’m gonna start forgetting key things if I don’t get at least some of it down in writing. Some things I’m going to have to be a bit vague about for the sake of peoples privacy and for that I’m sorry.

Let’s start with the most (long-term) exciting thing going on in my life… It’s an awesome freelance job opportunity! When I say awesome I mean completely right up my ally. I am so pumped about this and have a meeting regarding said activities on Wednesday =). YAY for a big breathe of fresh work air!! I know that’s ridiculously nondescript but I don’t feel comfortable saying much more right now. So cross your fingers for me. I’ll obviously still keep the job I have now so this is just for fun, experience and resume building- which is always a good thing.

The most short-term exciting thing going on right now? The Washington Capitals!!! We are kicking New York Rangers ass!! The series is tied at 3-3 right now meaning there is one. game. left. Tuesday (tomorrow) is the end-all, be-all, everything-rides-on-this-all final game in the series and it’s being played here, in DC. Wanna know what I’m doing tomorrow night? Ohhh ya know just chillin AT THE CAPS GAME!!! I’m so excited I literally might die. I’ve never been to a Caps game before and now I get to see them in the playoffs in a super crucial game. My hearts beating double time.

I was watching the Caps game Sunday at a bar in Arlington and met a guy who works for the Caps (convenient eh?). He asked me if I wanted to go with him (free) and I was about to say, “HELLS YES” when BFF put her foot down, hard. She’s been a huge Caps fan for forever. Capitals hockey to her is like Redskins football to me… she would kill me if I went and she didn’t get to. I know this b/c she told me this. And I understand, b/c if it was the Redskins and she was going without me… I’d more than freak. So we worked out a deal where he gave us a free ticket and we split the cost of the other. He also gave me his 30% discount at the Caps merchandise store upstairs so I got jerseys for way less than anyone really ever should =). I’m glowing like I’m pregnant and planned it.

Shit ok, shit. I gtg I’m being beckoned. I’ll write more tonight I have a lot more to talk about.

New Fav Word & Website: Snoburbia

So there’s this website that sells really incredible t-shirts. It’s called Snoburbia. Their slogan is Snoburbia, t-shirts for the overclass.

I came across it going through google reader this afternoon. ShirtSnob wrote a little ditty about it. I was curious to see the other t-shirts so I checked out the site.

GO CHECK OUT SNOBURBIA NOW! Or, of course, after you read the rest of this post.

As I’m looking through the t-shirt designs I start to get really really excited: A good number of the t-shirts are geared toward… LA? Nope. NY? Uh Uh. Your town? Not unless you live where I live; in the super fantastic Snoburbs of Washington, DC!

I do a little “my city/suburb is so fucking radical” dance in my chair. I click on the Snoburbs tee to pick my suburb and order a shirt. I open the tab with the suburbs choices… pause… re-check… pause… think Pooh think! Where is it??!? I refresh the page. My suburb is still a no-show. I’m mildly upset and very confused. I decide I’m gonna write them a letter (e-mail, same thing). So I do.

(I didn’t actually write the opening line in my email, but I think it’s a good opening line (it’s in black). The rest of the email (in blue) is exactly as I wrote it.) Oh and DMV= the District, Maryland & Virginia. We have cool codes here

To whom it may concern,

I just found your site and I love it!! I was looking at your “suburbia” or “snoburbia” T’s and don’t understand why you chose almost all Maryland suburbs. Everyone knows the VA side of DC is way better and Alexandria and Arlington are hardly where the snobs live. The point of this email: I am in desperate need of a “McLean” t-shirt. In Desperate Need.

I also think that you’d sell a ton of McLean t-shirts, since I’m obviously not the only person that lives here. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to tell you what to do or how to run your business. Not even close. I’m just throwing out suggestions that I think would be profitable. Do I have other suggestions? I’m so glad you asked! I do! 1) Great Falls. I was totally surprised that this suburb wasn’t already on the list. I mean, it’s like the snobbiest of the snobby. Seriously. Great Fallsians (made up word) think they are God’s gift to the DMV. 2) Langley. I’m aware that Langley isn’t exactly a suburb (no post office) but they do have a snobby ass high school (full of Great Falls “gifts”). They also have the CIA. I’d buy a Langley shirt as well as a McLean shirt. Technically (or non-technically since it’s not a real place) I live in both.

And what about tank tops? Like wife-beaters and spaghetti strap tanks? Are you gonna start selling any of those anytime soon? Because that would be great.

Okay, that’s all. Thanks for listening! I really really hope to see these snoburbs soon!!!! A+ on your website though; such a great idea. The OBX and SUV shirts are just incredible. I wish I could buy an OBX: Obnoxious bumper sticker and replace the normal OBX one I have now. Possibly in the future of snoburbia???? Again, just an idea.

Sincerely,

Me (obviously I wrote my real name)

To my surprise, they responded within the hour. Yeah. How’s that for awesome customer service? I even got a personalized, semi-lengthy email filled with wit and smiley’s and everything. I was impressed. Here’s what they wrote…

Hi (Me) -

While I disagree with your general premise : ), I think you are right that I need to offer more Va. snoburbs. I chose Arlington and Alexandria because they are more populous, but I have been getting some requests for McLean and Great Falls. So I’ll add them to the site – probably in the next week or two - and send you an email when they are added.

I will be adding hoodies, long-sleeve shirts and messenger bags in the future, but not in the next few months. Thanx for your input about tanks – I will certainly think about that. Also thanx for the OBX bumper sticker – I had considered it, but may rethink it.

I will also, begrudgingly, add a Virginia > Maryland version of my Md. > Va. tee… : )  I will also probably add a Michigan/Ohio and Louisiana/Texas series.

Also, as you love [italics!] my site, I hope you’ll send the link to a few friends, or tell your local newspaper or magazine about it or “become a fan” of snoburbia.com on Facebook! We’re brand new and really need the exposure. Bethesda Magazine is featuring us in its July/Aug issue, but I can’t seem to crack the Washington Post!

Thanx for your nice remarks. I’ll be in touch soon!!

Lydia

http://snoburbia.com – t-shirts for the overclass

It may be the best email exchange I’ve ever had. I guess I can overlook the fact that she’s obviously from Maryland. She is, after all, making the t-shirt I wanted and even one I didn’t ask for but will totally buy. VA is so much better than MD. I cant wait! I also adore the fact that she slightly poked fun of my abundant italics use. It’s true, I do love italics. And she said begrudgingly… I freagin love that word. What a great job she has; I’m jealous. I may have to look into working for them. You should go look into the t-shirts though. They also have a Blog you should check out. I’m checking it out right now. =)

Cool(ey) Hump Day News

So it seems I’m not the only one with Mr. Chris Cooley on the brain. Check it out… seriously, watch it. Watch all of it. And get excited. Best part? Either the picture over the mantle in the beginning (seriously who does that? It’s awesome. I’m def gonna have one when I get married) or the part where he talks about being white; priceless.

The Unpredictable Random Awesomeness of Life

Quite a weekend. Monday can fuck off but (sigh) it’s technically already here. C’est La Vie. That’s life. But what does that mean anyways? What’s life? Ya know? Like just saying “that’s life” sums it all up… but it doesn’t… at all. Anyways, I’d start at the beginning but Friday night is playing back pretty fuzzy so I’ll start with Saturday (although I do know that Friday was an awesome night as well- or so I’ve been told).

Saturday: Juicy calls me at 11 all excited about going to Hooters and then to the Wizards game (she scored club level tickets in a raffle the week before at a Wizards game that I invited her to; so naturally she invited me to the game she won tix to), I tell her I cant wait either but I’m gonna need a few more hours of sleep in order to function. She concurs; we both go back to sleep. I finally awaken at 2pm, chat with my mom and then hit the shower, get dressed and head to Juicy’s. It’s a gorgeous day btw. We go to Hooters…our fav place… so many interesting characters at Hooters; greaaat people watching. Pancey meets us there and we cash in on the 20 free buffalo shrimp she won a few weeks back. Juicy and I get asked to work there (again) so we decide to fill out applications. Why the hell not? I worked at Hooters in college for 2 years and loved it (and the ridiculous amounts of mullah I made) and it wouldn’t be a half bad weekend job. We semi-fill out the applications and give them to the manager as “pending”. I tell him we’ll come finish them later in the week. I would def have to move out of the parents house before attempting to leave the house in a Hooters uniform. My mom would freak.

Juicy informs me she has to take wings to this new guys she’s been seeing. I whine. She says she’s not budging so I suck it up and we get wings to go and head to where this guys works. At this point it’s an hour and a half till Wizards game time and we’re about 40 minutes outta DC. Oh and we’re not totally sure how to get to the Verizon Center (where they play). I’m a sports fanatic and don’t wanna miss a second of the game. She informs me it’s not a big deal; we’re gonna be late. If it were a football game she would never be so nonchalant about getting there on time. But, ya know… C’est La Vie and shit. We drop off his wings and order a drink; just one drink she says.

40 minutes later and 3 drinks each later she’s finally fed up with my nagging and we leave to head to DC. We take the Toll Road. I don’t have my speed pass b/c I’m in my mom’s spare jeep (my truck was still in the shop) but I don’t wanna stop at the toll so I just go right through the speed pass lane: Alarms start going off but we’ve done this numerous times and nothing ever happens so we’re laughing when, out of the blue, Juicy screams, “HOLY SHIT IT’S FAMOUS BOY!”

Me: “WHERE?!” I demand, not totally believing her (she’s never met him)

J: “THERE! LOOK.” She points to the car basically zooming past us. I look at the car. I’ve been in that car. And she’s fucking right. It’s famous boy.

Me: “HOLY SHIT. OH. MY GOD. Oh my God it is… Fuck me what do we do?”

J: “FOLLOW HIM.”

Me: ” Basketball game aborted. New Mission: Follow Famous Boy…. follow him where? Where’s he going? He’s gotta be going into DC if he’s already all the way out here.”

J: “Maybe he’s going to the game?? I dunno just FOLLOW HIM!”

Me: “OK ok I am.”

J: “Hurry! He’s getting away!”

Me: “Well he’s fucking speeding like a mother fucker! What do you want me to do?!? I’m not gonna go like 90 miles an hour!” (55 mph speed limit)

J: “Omg Omg I can’t believe I just looked over and there he was!”

Me: “Jesus Christ he’s going fast.”

Literally 5 seconds after I said “Jesus Christ he’s going fast” a cop pulls up out of nowhere in between Famous boy’s car and mine. Juicy and I look at each other with the same expression on our faces. The cop puts his lights on, and we watch in complete amazement as he pulls Famous boy and his beautiful Rover over. We’re legitimately freaking out at this point.

J: “CALL HIM.”

Me: “What!? NO I’ve never called him.”

J: “Well now you have an AWESOME reason to.”

Me: “Touche… ok. Why the hell not.”

I call famous boy. Obviously it goes to voice mail; and I leave an incredible message. He may not have found it amusing if he did in fact get a reckless driving ticket, but… we thought it was hilarious. “Hey famous boy it’s me just driving on the toll road when my friend Juicy noticed that we happened to be driving right next to you… weird…and (laughing my ass off) umm.. we just saw you get pulled over (laugh). Dude… that sucks (lil giggle). So… I wanted to call you and tell you that (giggle) we both hope you get outta the ticket. And good luck. (laugh, hang up)”

I’m not gonna analyze how often I think he checks his voice mail (not true- I already have) but I’m pretty sure I will not be getting a call back. Totally worth it though. Did we take pictures? NO. Why? B/c we’re idiots and didn’t think about it till after the fact. Dammit. I thanked Juicy for making me stay for drinks b/c otherwise we never would have had this incredible highway run-in with famous boy. She gloats a little. I tell her from now on I will always listen to her. She says famous boy and me are gonna get married, she just knows it. I believe her. She’s always right.

Wizards game fun… we lost… we decide to go out in Adams Morgan b/c Mex is there… and Kendra. Yeah… that was awkward at first. But (silver lining) we finally got to talk about everything some more and she doesn’t hate me. I mean, she does but she said she loves me too much to ever really hate me. She’s just really hurt (which I totally understand). She told me she misses me so much, all the time, but she doesn’t trust me. I told her she shouldn’t trust me yet; I wouldn’t trust me in her position. I told her I was so scared we would never be friends again and she said that she could never not be friends with me. We had been so close that when Daniel told her [what we did] she just broke down. She said anyone but me; she wouldn’t have cared as much if it had been anyone but me… but I knew everything; she used to confide in me about everything. She said she just couldn’t talk to me (these past few weeks) b/c it just hurt too bad; she was still too angry. She was used to Daniel hurting her but she never imagined that I would and it hurt so bad she didn’t know how to deal with it. I told her I understood; that I was so so sorry I hurt her like that and that I would wait as long as it took for her to be ready to talk to me again and that to me, she was still my best friend and always would be and that I loved her and miss her like crazy. Every day I wanna call this girl. She’s hilarious. We used to have the best times together. I told her that too. We hugged. We hugged a lot. I drove her to her car and she said we should all go to brunch tomorrow (BIG STEP!). I was ecstatic. Seriously I was crying I was so happy. And I don’t take emotionally heavy crying lightly; I usually try to avoid it. Then we hugged again and she told me to never do anything like that again. I promised (and I was serious) that I never ever would. She said it would still take time… baby steps she said… but hell, time flies and I feel like we’ll be inseparable before summer starts.

BIG SIGH OF RELIEF

Brunch was good. Not completely back to normal but getting there. We’re both putting in a lot of effort, and I am SO glad she values our friendship as much as I do. After brunch we all went hiking/rock climbing with some guy friends and yes, I will be sore tomorrow. But it was a lot of fun. My Kendra’s back! =) Any ideas on what I could do now? Ya know, something nice to let her know how much she means to me… (besides flowers… girl to girl flowers seems so gay to me). I just cant wait for the day when I don’t immediately think about the Daniel incident when I see her. I just want normal. Like, run up to her, maybe even squeal and give her a big hug and then just chat and gossip and laugh and have no weirdness between us. I hate the weirdness. But this is good. For right now, and the amount of time it’s been…this is great. I had an awesome weekend.

And thank GOD I wasn’t the one getting pulled over on the toll road! Then I would’ve left a message with a much different tone like, “Hey dick face why dont you slow down so people trying to follow you don’t get pulled over for reckless driving. Yeah, thanks, that would be great. Ps- When I say “following you”, I mean that in the least possible creepy way.”

I am SO curious to know if he got out of that ticket. Reckless in VA is on the same level as DUI basically… over 80 mph and you’re like… fucked. However I will not be calling/texting him again. I don’t need the book to know he’s not that into me. I am confused though;  a little. I mean… what’s not to be into?? So I’ve come to a conclusion… “He must not be all that smart.” And yes, that makes me smile. B/c I’ve hung out with him enough to know that this is  probably a true statement. Lol.

Thoughts on Obama’s Speech. Live.

• Why do I care about the people who bought houses they can’t afford and spent money they don’t have? I wouldn’t give them a dollar if they asked for it in person… why are you trying to take my money and give it to other people to spend???!? I’m trying to SAVE thank you  very much.
• Our President must be on massive amounts of anti-anxiety meds.
• It’s not his fault. He inherited this shit debt. Obvious answer to ridiculous debt: Spend a shit ton of money (that we don’t have)… WTF is he gonna say in 4 years? “It’s not my fault… this was all your idea?”
• “Hippie” leadership makes me wanna throw a Wii controller at  Obama’s head the TV.
• Please God stop saying, “Create millions of jobs”.
• Why does Obama think that the world is a bowl full of cherries? We CANT all get along. It will never ever happen. You sound stupid.
• Notice how he doesn’t answer the question… he just goes on a tangent of things that seeeem to be related to the question but aren’t at all.
• I didn’t realize the brainwashing effect that GW Bush had over Washington. Now that Obama is in office, “the last 8 years” has become more like a Cult… Who writes this shit? Does Obama realize that doing the complete opposite of whatever Bush would do does NOT mean you’re doing the right/smart thing??? “Bush would hate it” is NOT a good reason to push a bill through Congress asap.
• Obama sounds like a Cult leader. A stuttering Cult leader.
• People with bad credit are not victims of bad Government… they’re victims of their own irresponsible spending. Since when is it the Government’s job to kiss it and make it better? How does taking from the rich and giving to the stupid fix anything?
• This is going to be the next civil war. Seriously people. No joke.
• “What we need… is more credit” WHAT!? What we need is a Schoolhouse Rock video about responsible spending and saving. Credit is NOT the answer. Helllllllllo even greater depression.
• Go fix Chicago and then get back to me.
• A South Carolina High School  built in the 1800’s? “Kids still learn here. It’s next to the train tracks and they have to wait for trains to pass to continue teaching.” Um ok… sooooo what’s your point? Historical buildings should be torn down? Kids cant learn in buildings more than 20 years old? We shouldn’t use trains anymore? Why isn’t the county down there putting money into their school systems like ours is? Why can’t Democrats take responsibility for anything?
• The Government is there to GOVERN the Nation. Not CHANGE THE NATION.
• “Old habits are hard to break”. If Obama didn’t suggest it, it’s an “old habit”. It’s not cool. This Government only does what’s cool.
• It’s starting to sound like Obama (not Congress, the House) runs the United States of America. Jesus Christ we’re doomed. Maybe Germany will bail us out in a few years. Now that would be irony.
• “Eternal optimist”…  Me too… Does that make me a good National leader????
• More questions now than I had before. I wish I could call Obama directly and say,”I know what you’re trying to do. And it’s stupid. It’s not going to work so STOP it. I think you’re more suited for legalizing marijuana; NOT saving the world. Two years ago I didn’t believe the world was going to end in 2012… now, thanks to you, I can totally see that happening. You’re ruining half of America’s life. Screw the other half, they ruined there own lives. You cant make everyone happy. A good re-election strategy is to keep the wealthy happy. Just so you know. God help us (and NO by God I do NOT mean you).”

America: We Don’t Work Hard B/C Barack Said We Don’t Have To

You all know this is not a political blog. Obviously. However. I’ve been having mini panic attacks the past few weeks over the leadership and direction of our Nation. It’s very unlike me. It’s like I’m Ann Coulter’s kid sister or something. Although I loved her before, now I completely understand her. I also kind of idolize her. You go Ann!

USA Today: At a news conference, Obama spokesman Robert Gibbs spoke about Hilda Solis’ husband not paying his taxes and then added, “The White House believes that if you owe taxes you should pay them.”

…

Republicans everywhere: Yeah um… you should believe that… I mean… It is the law and all. Being the White House one would think that you believe in abiding the laws that you passed. You also said that you go to jail if you don’t pay them. That’s why we have accountants… b/c we’re good law abiding citizens. 

Bitter sarcastic Republicans everywhere (myself included): NO SHIT. You don’t say!?!? We’re supposed to PAY our TAXES?!? WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THIS? I HAD NO IDEA! WTF ARE TAXES ANYWAYS? When do we do this “pay taxes” that you speak of?

Democrats everywhere: Oh… Well shit. I’m sorry. I messed up. Should I pay them now? Is that Ok?

NO you stupid Democrats it is NOT Ok! FOUR of Obama’s committee selections have now been investigated for tax evasion. And that’s not even counting Caroline Kennedy. Don’t even get me started on that woman. One of these four is currently being investigated/questioned due to her husband basically ruining her career (husbands ruining wives lives… what else is new?) Two of those four withdrew, and one… one is now our fucking Treasury secretary!

Fabulous. That’s just perfect. Normal people go to jail and their lives are ruined b/c of not paying their taxes…  Timothy Geithner gets to be the Treasury Secretary. I almost threw up watching him apologize like that on National television.

I mean, is this for REAL?? Is this really our White House now? THESE are our LEADERS??? Corrupt, pathetic, naive, blubbering puppy dogs?!?

Don’t agree with me? Ok, that’s fine.

Ever heard of the phrase “You dress for the position you aspire to have, not the one you have.” ?

I have. I’ve been told that my whole life. Suits (with a tie for men) mean business. As my dad says, “This is not a flip flop world girl.” To which I always respond, “But I love flip flops! Who cares what you wear on your feet?! They’re comfy!”

Well. Now I understand… 1. Why my dad is a republican, 2. Why he wears suits at the office (yes, everyday) and 3. Why he tried to instill in me the same values.

Under Bush, The White House was formal: Suits, ties, everything was orderly, everyone was on time, etc. Obama moves into the White House and boom: No more coats required. That’s all fine and well, but sir… Mr. Obama… You’re setting an example. FOR THE WORLD.

Bush got to the oval office at 7am. Obama gets there around 9-ish.

Meetings don’t start or end on time anymore like they did with Bush.

Casual weekend wear. Yes, jeans… in the White House. Hell I’ll work there. Obama likes to wander the halls? Even better! Maybe I’ll run into him and I’ll be all, “What up Barack how’s the fam?” And he’ll answer b/c he’s cool like that and it doesn’t matter if he’s late to that meeting and then we’ll eat ice cream together and I’ll help his family pick out the perfect puppy and maybe we’ll even be facebook friends or something and he’ll tell me unicorns really do exist and I’ll say I KNEW it all along! God I love you Barack. You Da MAN!!!

HELLO!!!!

WAKE UP PEOPLE!! WAKE UP!

Snap out of it you idiots. This is a slippery slope if I ever saw one.

What has he done so far and what is proposed?… hmmm.  Welll, I heard him call Jessica Simpson fat. Annnnd ummm OH he thinks the NCAA should have a playoff system and gave a shoutout to Tim Tebow. Then he said he screwed up appointing all those corrupt people… And thennnn umm oh now I remember. That over 800 BILLION Dollar Stimulus Plan thingy he’s trying to get to pass. Yeah. That.

That’s kind of an incomprehensible amount of money. Where the hell is it coming from? And WTF are the details of this plan anyways??? B/c I can’t find them ANYWHERE.

We already know his campaign promise. Tax the rich more. B/c I mean, It’s not like they worked their ASSES off for that money or anything. Nah, it was probably just given to them by God or something. Barack’s very religious ya know.

THEN, we’ll give it to people who don’t have jobs, who are in massive debt (by no fault of their own obviously) and who DON’T PAY TAXES. Take money from the responsible people and give it to the ones who are irresponsible. That totally makes sense.

American Dream? You just fucked the ones who already made it and were living it. There is no American Dream anymore. You killed it. What you’re saying is, “We’re all equals, we should all suffer together. Life will suck but at least we’ll have each other.”

I say, “Fuck That.”

Obviously they want to raise taxes. Go ahead, why not?? They don’t give a shit. Democrats don’t pay they’re taxes anyways!

How much does the president make again? I believe it’s $400,000. He also receives an expense account (currently $50,000); a non-taxable travel account (currently $100,000), and an entertainment account (currently $19,000). So, taxable income is $469,000….

Isn’t it interesting Barack and Scumbag Timothy Geithner placed a $500,000 salary cap on top executives at companies that accept large chunks of future government bailout money. Hmmm… well, that still seems like a serious amount of money. But at least it’s not at much as the President makes! Can you imagine the uproar if he made a salary cap that was less than what he was earning?!? Hopefully even the Liberally controlled media would pick up on that one… “President places salary caps on all companies/corporations/etc. President now has the largest yearly income in the Country.” That would just not be very Democratic now would it?

Democrats are just a bunch of actors. Not even good ones! They’re just lucky the rest of the “liberals/moderates/undecided/swing voters are awful judges of character and of acting ability. They want you to think that they’re your bff but really they are using you. Using you to get what they want. They are all greedy lying whores.

SERIOUSLY. PLEAAAASE WAKE UP PEOPLE.

Salary caps? Next up, National Health care: Where doctors don’t work hard b/c they don’t have to.

That should be America’s new slogan:

America: We don’t work hard because Barack said we don’t have to.

I really really like it. It rolls off the tongue like cream cheese. If you like cream cheese.

Ok so maybe you’re pissy at me by this point. But please, even if you disagree with EVERYTHING I’ve said…

Check this out

No really, Please GOD go to that site. You may shit yourself.

B/c I almost did. Members of Congress Fucking Twittering WHILE IN SESSION. Twitter… with my Congressman. No, no. You aren’t Twittering with them, you just get to read what they’re doing. You get to know asap all the retarded decisions they’re making and it makes you realize how freagin psychologically impaired most of congress is. They are brainwashed. They aren’t “following” you. They don’t give a shit about you. I would say that maybe it would be an interesting concept if you could respond to the Tweets of your Congressman or send them direct messages. But, of course, you can’t do either of those things. Twitter Congress is enough to drive you crazy.

Jesus. It’s enough to make me want to write a nasty letter (b/c really… what else can I do?) The world has fucking lost it.

I feel like someone should jump out of a cake soon tell me I’m being Punked.

Because right now, I feel like Justin Timberlake when he thought that Dax was really repossessing his house and belongings.

Where the fuck is Ashton!??!

I’m gonna call my mom and cry now.

A quick note about Inauguration day 2009

Barack Obama is now the president. I feel good. I’m a republican but I still feel really good. I should have gone downtown. Seriously. How lame that I didn’t get off work today?! I live 5 minutes from DC… I wish I could start today over and skip out on work, b/c I would have. But it’s over now. What a cool scene huh? Now I get to deal with all the wonderful traffic that the millions of out-of-towners bring… lovely. And they don’t know how to drive, at all. It’s awful.

So, so long Bush! I think ya done good with what you had. Good luck and God bless to President Obama. I’ll be waiting for my check

No seriously.

Happy 2009!

This New Years Eve for some reason I decided to take it easy… meaning (shock inducing sentence to follow) I stayed home while all my friends were out partying up and welcome in a drunken 2009 New year and toasted champagne with my dad, awww.

The REAL reason I didn’t go out. 1. Lack of funds for shelling out $$ for an open bar all night along with 2. I had nothing to wear (pathetic excuse, only the girls understand)

I woke up at 4:30 AM to catch a flight from Dallas to DC and was too tired to do anything, including shop for a fabulous new dress or buy a ticket to my friends’ open bar celebration down town. Honestly I should have done all that before my trip to Texas but procrastination and indecision is a bitch.

The funny this is that I’m not disappointed in any way, I know that I would probably be freezing my boobs off in 23 degree weather trying desperately to hail a cab at 3 in the morning in DC while at the same time trying to make my head stop spinning long enough to make it home without having to make a puke pit stop. Gross mental picture but true all the same.

SO Happy New Year Everyone! 2009 will be the best year yet… there are so many possibilities

The best part… No work tomorrow! WOOOOH! and you guessed it, I will be watching football and drinking all day to make up for tonight My new years resolution???… keep being awesome while toning my tummy and booty and focusing more on what I want out of life because lets face it, I’m not 21 anymore and #1 on the list: move out of parents home. I feel like that’s the first step in the right direction.

Night Y’all!

I just noticed I can hear a clock ticking from somewhere in the office…

Strange. I have never ever noticed that before. And now it’s driving me crazy and getting louder. The clock must die.

Glad I got that off my chest. That wasn’t what I set out to blog about today at all. How easily I get distracted. Ridiculous. It’s so loud. Anyways…

I had the best weekend ever. That’s what I wanted to talk about. Stupid Mondays and their stupid clocks ruining my amazing weekend.

One of my best friends birthdays (the aforementioned Kendra) was Friday. So all the girls got all dressed up for that which I love doing and we went to Georgetown.  Gotta Love G Town. Gotta love having all pretty friends… gets a lot of attention. People wonder where our ugly friend is… we don’t have one. Not anything against ugly people at all. I love ugly people, they just aren’t in this group for some reason. And really the best part about attention from people at bars obviously is the copious amounts of free alcohol they give you (Attention= Free Booze, bet your mom didn’t teach you that).

And if you were wondering, Yes, Kendra and Daniel got back together. However, they broke up the day before her birthday because she found out he’s been cheating on her for months. And it wasn’t with me, thank God for that. Votes are still being counted on whether or not they will get back together AGAIN…

So with that poll, I need to get my ass out of the office. Sorry for barely even starting my awesome weekend story, but it’s time to Rock Band and eat soup (Monday is Soup Night )

To be continued….